Tag Archives: bar

Need a way to get rotted armadillo off truck?

Last weekend I was driving home from a bar really late and I guess I had to mich to drink and must have hit a dang armadillo somewhere. I never knew it. The things are everywhere around here and I have heard they jump up right before the get hit by a car. The next morning my ex brother inlaw came over and we drove to Ft walton beach for three days and when we came back I smelled something bad around the trailer. I found it. It was a big armadillo splattered onto the bumper and into the grill of my truck. It smell so bad I thought I was gonna slash. I scraped off most of it with a stick but big chunks of it are still behind my grill and guts and blood. I swear it smells so bad my neighbor made me park in the street. I don’t have insurance and now I have a busted grill and I have to drive with the windows down. It is worse than a slaughter house and churns my stomach. Even Mcdonalds drive thru complained when I went there today. Do you think anyone else in the world has troubles like me?

Texas Choking Victim?

Two Texans were having the blue plate special at their favorite watering hole, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down an Armadillo Burger too fast. The first Texan said to the other, “Think we ought ta’ help?”
“Yep,” said the second Texan. The first Texan got up, hitched up his jeans and walked over to the lady. He asked, “Kin yew breathe?”

She shook her head no. “Kin yew speak?” he asked. She again shook her head no.

With that, he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt, and started to lick her on the butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.

The first Texan turned back to his friend and said, “Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever’ time!”

Texas Choking Victim?

Two Texans were having the blue plate special at their favorite watering hole, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down an Armadillo Burger too fast. The first Texan said to the other, “Think we ought ta’ help?”
“Yep,” said the second Texan. The first Texan got up, hitched up his jeans and walked over to the lady. He asked, “Kin yew breathe?”

She shook her head no. “Kin yew speak?” he asked. She again shook her head no.

With that, he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt, and started to lick her on the butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.

The first Texan turned back to his friend and said, “Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever’ time!”

Dime Bar Ad – Harry Enfield, Armadillos (1995) [HQ]

Dime Bar advert starring Harry Enfield and Armadillos. Stereo Audio: www.youtube.com

Dime Bar – Armadillo Advert

“ARMADILLOS!” Starring Harry Enfield